Bella and the One Who Got Away Read online

  Bella and the One Who Got Away

  A love on the track novel

  Amy Sparling

  Copyright © 2019 by Amy Sparling

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Created with Vellum

  Contents

  Introduction

  1. Bella

  2. Liam

  3. Bella

  4. Liam

  5. Bella

  6. Liam

  7. Bella

  8. Liam

  9. Bella

  10. Liam

  11. Bella

  12. Bella

  13. Liam

  14. Bella

  15. Liam

  16. Bella

  17. Liam

  Also by Amy Sparling

  About the Author

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  ♥ ♥ ♥

  1

  Bella

  The stadium lights blink on as the sun starts to settle on the horizon. My nerves ramp up. With the sunset comes the end of practice and the start of the Friday night races here at Roca Springs Motocross Park. It’s the last race of the summer season and I’m as ready as I’ll get for it. My movements are smooth, my breathing is steady. He’s been gone for three weeks now but I can feel his presence while I ride. I can see him in my mind, telling me to keep my shoulders back, to stand on the balls of my feet, to lean in with the dirt bike as I speed around the turns.

  Liam Mosely taught me how to ride better in one summer than I’ve learned in my entire life of riding dirt bikes. And now that he’s gone, I can still close my eyes and imagine that he’s here, watching me from the sidelines. I keep my eyes open though, because daydreaming will only make my heart hurt.

  As I ride off the dirt bike track and head toward my truck, the only people watching me are my best friend Kylie and my mom. They decided to come out and watch me race tonight since it’s the last race of the summer season. Another racing season starts next month, but it’s a series race that collaborates with three other motocross tracks. In order to participate in it, you have to travel to a different track each week and that’s too much effort and driving and money for someone like me, who only races for fun. The only people who commit to series races like that are people with goals of making a career in motocross.

  I had never even raced at all until a few weeks ago when Liam convinced me that I was good enough to try. Now it’s thrilling and fun and makes me feel accomplished, but I’m no pro racer.

  Liam is.

  And that’s why we can’t be together. That’s why I haven’t seen him since he left last month to join Team Loco, the world-famous motocross racing team. I am just a local girl who rides for fun, but he is a celebrity in the world of motocross.

  My stomach hurts just thinking about it. Maybe this race wasn’t a good idea.

  I park my bike next to my truck and pull off my helmet, letting the hot August heat dry up the sweat on my skin. Here in Texas, August is the hottest month of the year, and I’m feeling it now. My muscles are warm, my skin flush, and my heart is pounding.

  Of course, the heart thing is probably because I’m once again thinking about Liam.

  Kylie jogs up to me. She’s wearing a Roca Springs Motocross shirt that she borrowed from me over a pair of cut off shorts. She wanted to look like she fit in with the motocross crowd, which is kind of silly because most people here don’t wear dirt bike themed shirts.

  Her hair is longer than usual since she hasn’t had it cut off into her signature bob since summer started. While she’s slacking on the haircuts, she hasn’t slacked on the box of jet black hair dye that she uses once a month to keep her hair silky and dark.

  “You’re race number six,” she says, smiling at me as she shows me her phone, where she’s taken a picture of the race list that’s taped to the side of the score tower. “I’m so excited to watch you race. Are you excited? Are you nervous?”

  I laugh and reach for a bottle of water from the cooler in the bed of my truck. “Yes and yes.”

  I’ve raced about seven times now, and it never gets boring. As the time draws near, I feel my nerves ramp up. It never fails. It doesn’t matter how much I’ve practiced or prepared, racing against other riders is officially nerve-wracking. But it’s the most fun I’ve ever had.

  Even if Liam is gone now, I’m glad he gave me this. Without his expert advice and encouragement, I would have never gained the courage to step out of my comfort zone and try a real race. I would have forever been that girl who rides for fun and doesn’t challenge herself.

  I guess most of the locals are busy with back to school stuff, or maybe they’re just over the summer break already, because there are half as many racers here as usual. That means it’ll be a quick race and Kylie and I can go back to my house and watch Netflix all night. This is what we’ve been doing lately – Netflix and Best Friend Bonding. We’re both single right now. For me, that’s not much different than the norm since I’ve been single a while – minus my summer fling with Liam, but for Kylie, it’s practically the rarest event in the world.

  She had a brief thing with Ray, a guy she met at the mall a few weeks back, but he had to go back to college in Michigan and my best friend has no desires to maintain a long-distance relationship.

  Me, well, I have no desires to date anyone right now. No one can compare to the fake relationship I had with Liam. Kylie says I’m being dramatic, but it’s true. I can’t look at guys the same way anymore. I can’t see a cute guy and imagine dating him, or flirting with him, or anything. No one feels as special and Liam did, and now he’s gone. The thing I had with him is over. Done. Forever finished.

  I need to move on, but that’s a lot easier said than done.

  By the time my race rolls around, my nerves are on high alert. I’m not used to having two people here to watch me. My mom has never seen me race, and I have the huge desire to make her proud and it’s making me more nervous than ever. What if I get out there and totally bomb it? What if I get stuck at the gate or I fall over in the first turn and get last place? It’s the last race of the season, and probably of the year, and I want to make my mom proud of me.

  I line up at the starting gate. There are twelve other women here today racing with me. The only one I’m scared of is Morgan, who rides a Kawasaki with the number seven. She’s in her early twenties and she’s been racing her whole life. The girl is amazing. There’s no way I can beat her.

  Once again, I can hear Liam in my mind. He’d tell me I’ve got this. That I can beat her. That all my worries are just in my head and that the truth is I have the skills to win this race. The gate drops and the race begins. I pin the throttle and my bike flies forward, the engine smoothly bringing me to the front of the pack. When we hit the first turn, that green number seven bike flies past me. I try not to let it get to me, but it does. I falter. I lose speed. Morgan pulls ahead and secures first place, but there’s still four more laps to go.

  I breathe deeply and focus on the track, on my form, on my speed. I use every bit of skill that Liam taught me and I hold second place, slowly gaining speed as I close the distance between my bike and Morgan’s.

  When I ride, I clear my mind. I think only of the task at
hand. I can’t let my thoughts wander or I’ll be toast.

  And that’s what starts to happen. Liam. I can’t stop thinking about Liam. I know he’s not here, but every time I ride past the bleachers full of onlookers, I glance over on instinct, hoping to see him. Hoping to catch a flash of that dirty blonde hair and those gorgeous eyes. Hoping he’ll be standing there cheering me on even though I know deep down he’s not here in Texas. He isn’t watching me. He’s not mine anymore.

  When the checkered flag flies over the finish line jump, I’m in second place.

  Morgan has won this race because she’s the better rider. She stayed focused. She didn’t get lost in thoughts of a boy she can’t have.

  Disappointment seeps through my bones as I ride off the track and go back to my truck. My mom and best friend are all smiles.

  “You were amazing!” my mom says as she pulls me into a hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

  “Thanks,” I say, putting on a smile even though I’m not the least bit proud of myself. I could have taken Morgan. I could have won that race if only I’d tried a little bit harder.

  But in the end, my own brain made me lose. I guess that’s what I get for thinking I can beat a girl who’s been racing her entire life.

  We make our way to the bleachers to watch the rest of the races. After all of the races go one time, there’s an intermission and then everyone gets to race again. Your overall rank at the end of the night is an average of what place you get in each race. So if I beat Morgan in our second race, there’s a chance I could win the overall trophy tonight. But with each passing second, I’m losing more and more faith in myself. Because when I’m at home with Kylie, I can try to forget him, but here at the motocross track, Liam is everywhere. The smell of exhaust in the air, the rumbling sound of bike engines, and the taste of concession stand nachos – they all remind me of Liam. My heart aches because of it.

  I take a seat on the bleachers next to Mom and Kylie. The aluminum bench flexes as someone sits next to me. I look over and see Ryan Gibbard*, a guy who used to be my friend before I totally embarrassed myself by asking him on a date.

  “Nice race,” he says, grinning at me with that dimpled expression of his. Those dimples used to be endearing to me. But it’s hard to think a guy is cute after he rejects you in the science classroom at school.

  “Thanks,” I say, glancing back at the track where another group of riders are racing.

  “What have you been up to?” he asks. “Any college plans?”

  “I’m taking my core classes at the community college,” I say. “What about you?”

  “Same.” Ryan grins. “Maybe we’ll have classes together.”

  “Maybe.”

  Ryan keeps up the small talk for a while and then one of his friends shows up and he goes to hang out with him. Kylie nudges me with my elbow. “He was totally flirting with you.”

  “No he wasn’t.”

  My mom leans over, her hawk-like hearing making her a part of this conversation. “He totally was,” she says. “And he’s cute too.”

  I roll my eyes. “He’s just a friend.”

  Kylie leans a little closer, talking lower so my mom can’t overhear. “You should stop shutting down every guy who flirts with you.”

  “No one flirts with me,” I say.

  “Ryan just did. And that guy at the mall, and the guy who lives down the road from you, and then that hottie at the snow cone place—”

  “Okay,” I say, holding up my hand. “Just because a guy says hello to me while I’m buying a snow cone doesn’t mean he likes me.”

  “How long are you going to let this Liam thing keep you miserable and single?” she whispers.

  Sometimes I wish I had never told her about the Liam thing. I sink my chin in my hands and stare out at the track. “As long as it takes to stop hurting so much.”

  2

  Liam

  Teaching my little step-brothers how to use Facetime is one of my smartest decisions. Now almost every night before they go to bed, they call me and we chat and I show them whatever cool hotel I’m staying in this time. Today, I’m sitting on a rooftop in Phoenix, Arizona. There’s a pool up here with fancy lounge chairs and potted palm trees and little private cabana huts. This is what you get when Team Loco puts you up in a five-star hotel.

  I move my phone around so Matt and Dylan can see the rooftop pool. There’s a chorus of awed expressions as I show them the view of the city. I turn the phone back to myself.

  “Cool huh?”

  “That place is so cool!” Dylan says. He’s starting second grade this year and he had a huge growth spurt over summer. “Are you going swimming?”

  “I might,” I say. I’m wearing my swim trunks after all, but I’m not really in the mood to swim, unlike my teammates who are already in the pool.

  “We didn’t get to watch your race but Mom recorded it on the DVR so we are going to watch it later.”

  “It wasn’t a good race,” I say, feeling ashamed to admit it out loud, even if I am only talking to two little kids who worship me no matter how much I suck at professional motocross. “You don’t have to watch it.”

  “No, we’re go into watch it!” Matt says as he wrestles the phone away from his older brother. “It’s so cool seeing you on TV.”

  When the call is over, I put my phone down on the concrete below my plastic lounge chair and I lay back, looking up at the orange-red glow of the setting sun. I hope my family doesn’t watch that race and feel ashamed of me. The third official race of my professional career was last night and I bombed it. Out of twenty five racers, I got fifth place. What a disgrace. I didn’t even have bike troubles or anything to blame it on. Nope, it was all me.

  I sucked.

  And my first two races went the same way. I can’t seem to get my head in the right mindset for these races. I spent my whole life daydreaming of turning pro and making a podium finish, which is getting either first, second, or third place. And so far, here I am three races into my career and I haven’t made a podium finish once.

  I suck.

  Tomorrow my team flies out to another city where we’ll have one day to practice on the track and then we’ll race the day after. I’m losing all hope that maybe I’ll finally get my brain and body to work together to make me the quality racer I know I can be. My teammate Jett told me to stop worrying about it when we were at dinner earlier. He told me that I’m the rookie which means not much is expected of me. All I have to do is stay out of trouble and don’t do anything stupid like steroids or breaking the law so I don’t get disqualified. As long as I keep my nose clean, no one cares how I finish in the races. I disagree though. These races matter. Rookie or not, they matter.

  Team Loco is a racing team of four other racers plus me. The entire goal is to have our guys be on the podium for every single race. We’re competing against other professional teams who all want the same things we do. As long as our guys win the races, we’re good.

  Luckily my teammates have succeeded in doing that so far this season, but that doesn’t mean I’m off the hook. Last night Zach Pena took a pretty nasty crash on the second lap of the race and he’s now out with a concussion. While the rest of us are hanging out on the rooftop pool, sipping sodas and eating expensive room service food, Zach is back in his hotel room with the curtains drawn and a bottle of pain killers on his nightstand. Now our team is down to four members. If the other three guys don’t make the podium at the next race, it’ll be up to me to fill that spot.

  What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t race hard enough and I let down my entire team? Maybe I’m not cut out for this life.

  I take a deep breath and try to give myself a pep talk. I’ve been doing that a lot lately, and after so many self-pep talks, my brain starts to ignore myself. I can’t just think positively and make everything okay. I need to act positively too. And that all boils down to me needing to be better.

  I stand up and walk over to the hot tub. Aiden and Clay ar
e chilling in the pool, and Jett is sitting on a lounge chair with his wife Keanna sitting in his lap. They don’t look old enough to be married, but they’re one of those high school sweetheart situations. They fell hard for each other, got married as soon as they could, and now they’re living their happily ever after. Keanna spends about half the season with Jett, traveling around with us when she can, but sometimes she has to be back home working at the motocross track their family owns. The other guys on Team Loco are also in committed relationships and I’ve been told that sometimes their girlfriends will join us, too. Clay’s girlfriend Avery actually works with Team Loco, so she’s always here when we travel. She’s not up on the roof right now though, because she’s helping to do some PR stuff with Marcus. I imagine she’ll head up to the pool whenever she’s done, though.

  We’ve lucked out because no other hotel patrons are up here right now and we have the whole rooftop pool to ourselves. Last week we didn’t even try to get in the pool because there were about a million kids and families at the hotel.

  I step into the hot tub, reveling in the feel of the hot bubbly water as it envelopes my body. It’s soothing on my aching muscles, and it helps take away at least some of the stress I’m feeling. I love racing. I love motocross.

  But this professional stuff is a lot harder than I ever imagined. It was easier last year when I had a short stint with Team FRZ Frame. Back then my life was one hundred and ten percent motocross. But after this summer, things changed. I spent last summer living with my mom and her husband Phil and my step-brothers in Roca Springs. I bonded with all of them as if I were a part of their awesome family full time and not just a temporary visitor. And I met Bella. I fell hard for her. This whole last summer was like an entirely new life for me. Suddenly things were important to me that never were before. Family. Girls. It wasn’t just motocross. My life became something more over the summer.