In This Moment (In Plain Sight Book 3) Read online

  I let my boss know I’m free every day now, not just Tuesdays and Thursdays. He seems happy with this and says I can come in tomorrow and help with deliveries.

  Just twenty four hours ago, I’d thought my Friday would be spent on another romantic date with Clarissa.

  How wrong I was.

  Mom calls me around nine, and I answer the call between deliveries.

  “Hi, son,” she says. Her voice sounds tired like it does in the mornings even though she only just now got to work. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

  “What is it?”

  “We don’t have enough money for the cable bill,” she says, following it with a sigh. “I keep saying we should just cancel the damn thing but your dad likes the sports channels.”

  “How much do you need?” I ask.

  “One sixty. I don’t know if you have any money but…”

  “I’ve got it,” I say. I look over at my empty passenger seat, remembering when Clarissa sat there, making my whole world amazing. “I’ll leave the cash on the kitchen table for you when I get off work.”

  “You’re a sweetheart,” Mom says. If only she knew the truth of what her son has become. A liar. A vandal. An asshole. “I’ll pay you back as soon as I can.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Mom. I live there, too. I can help pay the bills.”

  “You’re such a wonderful son,” Mom says. I can hear the smile in her voice and it feels me with shame. “If we could not tell your dad about this…I just don’t want him to know we were short on cash again this month. You know how he is.”

  “I know,” I say softly. “I got your back, Mom.”

  “Thanks, Gavin.”

  When the call is over, I drop my forehead to my steering wheel. Maybe it’s a good thing I can’t play soccer right now. I need these extra shifts at work if I’m going to pay for a greenhouse and help my mom with the bills, on top of my own bills like gas, car insurance, and my cell phone.

  But still, it’s hard to see the good in anything right now.

  Chapter 13

  It’s after seven by the time Livi finally gets here. I’ve been pacing by the living room window, watching for her mom’s Prius to pull into the driveway and drop her off. Getting through today was a complete nightmare, and as soon as I saw her after school, I nearly burst into tears. But I couldn’t tell her anything there, not with all the people around.

  Instead, I begged her to spend the night tonight. Thank God, it’s Friday and I won’t have to go back to homeroom for another two days. Even then, I’m considering heading to the courthouse and legally changing my last name so they’ll put me in a different homeroom class. A little dramatic, yes, but then I’ll never have to see Gavin again.

  I rush to the front door and pull it open just as Livi walks up. I wave at her mom as she backs out of the driveway.

  “Have you eaten?” Livi asks, holding up a pizza box. “I haven’t, so I got something on the way.”

  The smell of Magic Mark’s pepperoni pizza makes my mouth water, which is a nice feeling because I haven’t eaten all day. After being completely blindsided in the office first thing in the morning, my appetite disappeared. But now it’s back, and I take the pizza box from my best friend.

  “I’m starving. Let’s sneak this to my room.”

  “I heard that,” Mom says, appearing in the foyer.

  Shit. She puts one hand on her hip and gives me a Mom Look, then she turns to Livi. “Hi, Livi. How are you?”

  “I’m doing okay. I wish summer break wasn’t so short.”

  Mom laughs. “Enjoy it while you can. Once you’re out of school, it’s work every day.”

  All this small talk is killing me. I’ve already felt like a bundle of anxiety and anger since this morning, and I’m tired of holding onto it. I need my best friend.

  “Let’s eat fast. I have way too many things to tell you,” I say.

  Mom sighs. “Oh, what the hell. You can eat that in your room, but if you spill even a crumb of it, I’ll be pissed. And you’ll attract roaches, which should be punishment enough.”

  Mom has a very strict no eating in the rooms policy. I blink. “Really?”

  She nods. “Sure. You’re almost an adult so I’m going to go crazy and trust you to keep your room clean. Don’t spill anything.”

  “We won’t,” Livi says. “Thank you, Ms. Voss.”

  We grab some drinks and napkins and then head into my room. As soon as the door closes behind me, Livi’s eyes widen. “Tell me everything.”

  Everything is a lot. I’m still trying to process everything. Livi has only been caught up just a small bit on the date I had on Wednesday because I’d called her right after and gushed to her. Then we just haven’t had time to catch up lately.

  I sit on the floor so as not to get pizza grease on my bed by accident, and open the pizza box between us. “Gavin is the one who ruined my greenhouse.”

  Just saying the words feels wrong. Impossible. Like I’m living in some parallel version of my life where that amazing date with Gavin never actually happened.

  But I was there, and I saw his face, saw the fear beneath his eyes when he thought his parents would find out. I don’t know why I stood up for him like I did—he certainly doesn’t deserve it. But he just seemed so unbelievably desperate in the moment, that I had to ask the principal not to tell his parents.

  Livi’s jaw falls open. “You’re kidding, right?”

  I shake my head.

  “But…Gavin is the guy you went on a date with?”

  I nod.

  “And…. he’s also the guy who ruined your greenhouse?”

  Another nod.

  Her brows pull together. She takes a hair tie off her wrist and pulls back her golden curls, tightening them into a bun on the top of her head. She hardly ever does that unless she’s at home because she likes to keep her hair looking gorgeous in public. But this isn’t public, and this is some serious shit we’re about to talk about. The hair thing seems necessary.

  “I don’t understand,” she says, staring at the untouched pizza between us. “I mean, it happened before you met him, right? So he didn’t know it was yours.”

  “None of that matters, Livi. He did it. That’s the only thing that matters. He did it, and he lied.”

  “What do you mean he lied?”

  I sigh heavily. In order to fully sulk through this pain, I need to tell her all of the details. So I do. I start with that day in homeroom, and the flirty texts at lunch, and then the date. I tell her about how I opened myself up to him, let him know all kinds of things about me.

  Her lips dip into a frown as I tell her the worst part. “He looked me dead in the eyes and said he didn’t know who did it.”

  I laugh deliriously. “The funny part? I actually believed him. I kissed him. I believed him and I let myself like him, and I kissed him and all along, he was just pulling one over on me. He knew the whole time and he just lied.”

  “Maybe he was falsely accused,” she says.

  I shake my head. “The principal had all this evidence. Apparently, every other guy on the team has an alibi for that time and he doesn’t. He admitted it, Livi. He’s going to pay for the damage and he has to help me rebuild it.”

  She crinkles her nose. “Do you think you can handle being with him to rebuild it?”

  I shrug. “I haven’t gotten that far, yet.”

  She puts a hand on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Rissa.”

  I grab a slice of pizza and take a bite just so I don’t have to talk for a minute. I’m still hungry, but thinking about seeing Gavin again makes my stomach hurt. How can someone so cute be such an asshole?

  “We could find something he loves and vandalize it,” Livi says with an evil, but playful grin.

  “His truck,” I mutter, remembering how he went on and on about how much he loves it. He keeps it clean and smelling like Armor-all. I sigh. “Not really, Liv. Stop that scheming face. We are better than this.”

  She po
uts. “We should still make him pay. And not just monetarily.”

  I nod. “I’ve been thinking about it. I’m supposed to make a list of all the materials he has to replace, and now I’m thinking of making him help me rebuild an even better greenhouse.”

  Livi’s eyes narrow. “I like where this is going.”

  “One with better insulation, and lighting…” I take a notebook off my desk and start jotting down ideas. “All of the things we thought about adding the first time but we didn’t. I was afraid the project would be too hard, but with someone else helping me who isn’t as old as Grandpa…we could make it better.”

  “And more expensive,” Livi says.

  “I just don’t know if I can handle it.” I drop the notebook on the floor. My chest clenches up tightly like it did that whole first week after Shawn dumped me. Nothing hurts more than feeling like a huge fool. A joke. Someone who was lied to and manipulated. I can’t believe I kissed him. I got all swoony eyed and giddy and stupid over him.

  “God, I hate him!” I say through clenched teeth. “I hate him so much!”

  “Listen, Rissa. Screw that guy. Like, seriously. You’re better than him. Make him rebuild your greenhouse and then never talk to him again. This is his issue, not yours.”

  “That’s just it. He should build the greenhouse to make up for what he did, but I don’t even know if I want a new greenhouse anymore. I can’t trust him to build it without my guidance, but I don’t want to be around him.”

  “Yeah, I understand that,” she says, her voice solemn. “Can you maybe hire a contractor to help you?”

  “It’s too expensive,” I say, shaking my head. “Even Gavin probably can’t afford that much, and contractors won’t let me help them. And I have to help build it, or otherwise there’s just no point. The whole reason I’m doing this is for my grandmother’s memory.”

  There’s a knock on my door and we both jump. I’ve been so caught up in my own misery that I completely forgot where I was for a minute.

  “Come in,” I call out.

  Mom opens my door and pokes her head in, a big smile on her face. “Hey, girls!” she says cheerfully. I’m not an idiot, though. I know she’s checking to make sure we haven’t flung pizza all over the walls like some kind of barbarians.

  “I just wanted to check in and have some girl talk,” she says, stepping into my room. She tucks her brown hair behind her ears and grins at me. “How was your date?”

  I’m speechless. Mom only knows that I went out with a guy. She doesn’t know the end result, and I’m not about to tell her.

  Luckily, Livi speaks up before too much time has passed. “Not that great,” she says. “That’s why we’re having pizza and talking right now. Taking our mind off idiot boys.”

  “Aww, that’s too bad.” Mom reaches down and squeezes my shoulder. “You really seemed to liked hm.”

  “What? No, I didn’t.” Finally, my voice is back. And it’s good at lying, it seems.

  Mom’s lips slide to the side of her mouth. “Well… it certainly appeared like you liked him. You were bouncing around the house the next day, all happy and giggly.”

  I groan. She’s probably right, but I don’t want to think about that. “Well, that’s changed. I don’t really like him. Not at all.”

  “Okay, okay,” Mom says, bringing her fingers to her lips to turn an invisible key. “I’ll shut up about it.”

  She leaves and closes the door behind her. I turn to Livi.

  “That’s it. I’m cancelling the greenhouse.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I press my hand to my forehead, where I’m starting to get a headache. “There’s just no way I can be around Gavin anymore. I hate him. He ruined my greenhouse and he ruined my heart.”

  There’s another knock on my door. “Yes, mom?” I call out, sounding a little more annoyed than I want to. It’s not her fault I’m pissed off. But it’s Grandpa who opens the door.

  “I always know which room is yours,” he says with a gentle smile. His eyes focus off to the side, and not at me. “Your room smells like strawberries. And…currently like pizza too, but that’s unusual.”

  I smile. Strawberries are kind of my signature scent. I have strawberry shampoo, body wash, and strawberry air freshener in my room.

  “What’s up, Grandpa?” I ask. “Livi is here with me.”

  “I brought you something.” He walks slowly into the room and then reaches into the brown paper bag he’s holding. He takes out a brown bulb that kind of looks like a dirty onion.

  “Is that a flower bulb?” I ask, because there’s no reason he’d bring me a dirty onion.

  He nods, holding it out in my general direction. I get up and take it from him. “It’s a tulip bulb. Got it from Macgregor’s nursery. I called them up and they delivered it to me since I can’t drive anymore. You wanna know why they went through all that trouble?”

  “Small town charm?” I guess.

  He chuckles. “Your grandma used to visit there every week. Probably their best customer.” He points at the bag. “Tulips were her favorite. I was thinking you could make this be the first thing you plant for the children at the daycare.”

  The lump in my throat grows to nearly the size of this tulip bulb. Grandpa still thinks our greenhouse is standing and ready for plants.

  I nod slowly. “I will,” I say, tucking the bulb safely back into the bag. “I promise.”

  Chapter 14

  After school on Friday, I head home and change clothes for work. It feels weird not going to soccer practice, but it’s even weirder that none of the guys on the team even talked to me today. It’s like I’m being shunned, which makes sense, I guess. I’m not on the team anymore.

  Before I go to work, I text TJ.

  Me: What the fuck

  TJ: come again?

  Me: Somehow you had an alibi and I didn’t?

  TJ: Shit luck, dude.

  Me: Are you fucking serious?

  My phone rings after that. Before I can say a word, TJ says, “You’re gonna keep your mouth shut, okay?”

  “Is that a threat?”

  “I’m just telling you to play it smart. You should have thought of an alibi, man. They were coming around asking everyone. It’s your fault, bro. I mean, it sucks, but you know you can’t say anything now.”

  “How could I have come up with an alibi when I didn’t know they were questioning everyone?” I say, my teeth gritting together.

  “No one told you?” He sounds confused, but the fucker is probably lying.

  “No, TJ. No one told me. I found out when I was called to the principal’s office and kicked off the team. He said every other player had an alibi, but I seem you recall you being with me that night, so how is that possible?”

  “I was at my grandma’s,” he says. “Yep. I brought her Chinese food and did some chores around her house. She remembers.”

  TJ’s grandma has dementia and half the time she doesn’t even know who you are when you visit her.

  “You’re a piece of shit.”

  “I’m smart,” he counters. “Sorry you’re off the team, man, but you should have figured this out yourself. Had someone lie for you or something.”

  He just doesn’t seem very sorry. I think of the principal saying they had three anonymous messages that all claimed I was the one who did it. I wonder if they were all written by the same person?

  “Enjoy getting off scot free for something you talked me into doing, you fucking dick.”

  He snorts. “See you around.” And then he hangs up.

  I’m so furious I almost throw my phone through the wall. Luckily, part of my brain still functions enough over all of this anger to know that phones are expensive and I can’t afford a replacement.

  Dad is on the phone with Mom, from the sounds of it. Yelling about money again. Funny how I can just drown out these yelling matches most of the time.

  “We’ll just stop wasting money,” Dad says into the phone. “No more d
umb shit like organic vegetables. Just live more frugally and we’ll be fine.”

  I don’t know what mom says on the other end, but I definitely know what she’s thinking. If he didn’t waste so much money on beer we could buy all the organic food we wanted.

  I grab my keys, head to work, and put on a smiling face. Friendly pizza delivery guys get the best tips.

  *

  On Monday, I’m actually nervous as I get to school. I’ve sent Clarissa one text a day since Friday, and all have gone ignored. I wanted to call her, text her more. Hell, I wanted to show up at her house and beg for forgiveness, but I’m not an idiot. I need to let her know I still care and want to make amends, but I need to do it in a way that won’t drive her further away.

  Now’s my chance to see her again.

  I walk into the school alone. All of my closest friends are on the team and they’ve all somehow magically disappeared from the place we usually hang out at each morning. Whatever. Assholes.

  I head straight for homeroom, and I slink down in my chair. TJ and Beau come in a few minutes later.

  “Sup,” Beau says as he sits down. TJ ignores me.

  “Just making do, I guess,” I say to Beau, even though I’m not sure his question wanted an answer.

  “Sorry, man,” he says, giving me this pitying look. But beneath his eyes is exactly the kind of emotion I’d have if I were in his position. You can’t exactly feel sorry for someone who got in trouble for doing something wrong.

  That’s not the whole truth, I want to yell. TJ was there too. It was his idea.

  But I did it too. I participated. Hell, I had a blast destroying that greenhouse. Admitting that makes me feel the worst kind of shame. Had I known that greenhouse was being used, and that it belonged to the daycare instead of the school, and that it was hers, I wouldn’t have touched it.

  I wish I could make Clarissa believe me.

  She slips into the classroom just seconds before the bell rings, which is a first for the girl who is normally here early and ready to take notes.